First of all, I would like to say that everything is described very subjectively in the following article. I try to make you understand how I dealt with this previously unusual situations and how I fought my very own demon. No, I am not a psychologist, nor have I been able to enjoy such education. So please be gentle with me.
I decided to write a little different beauty article because if I live by a motto it is definitely practice what you preach. I find this article so important cause I honestly have to say:
I had an extremely hard time in quarantine and I am STILL struggling !!! Not only have I gone through many personal changes, I’m also the kind of person who is very strongly influenced by their environment. Of incidents, vibes and energy.
I know, I know, that always sounds crazy and too spiritual, but there is still this form of empathy.
I strongly empathize with my fellow human beings and if I feel emotional stress, it affects me physically. Also need to be close to my friends and the freedom to spend my free time as I want to. In addition to my extremely stressful job, I need leisure stress like air to breathe. Sounds stupid, I know but it is what it is. I need to feel needed, probably one or the other knows what I mean. My job, which takes up 90 percent of my waking life, is creative and connected to many people, ergo my work during the new COVID19 everyday life has completely disappeared. So what the hell should I do with my time ??
At the beginning of the isolation, I looked desperately for tasks. Cleaning windows and doors, resuming old hobbies like drawing, trying to stay sporty. Yes, I tried out homeworkouts and realized that it’s absolutely nothing for me. So after all of these activities had been completed (no cap, took me just ten days), only one thing remained: myself.
A little voice in my head became audible that said over and over again: “What are you doing with your life?” An annoying, restless voice that shouted at me „you’re getting old, bro“ or “do you remember where you wanted to be at 30 ?”
Well, certainly not in a global pandemic. That’s for sure.
Got this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, constantly worried about my relationship, my standard of living and my mindset. And often overreacted. After a while I decided to take a mental break in my hometown and went there for almost three weeks. A terrific decision that really did me good. At least for the moment. After this break, back in Berlin, of course the great disillusionment. The voice was still there and grew louder.
My first impulse was to speak to my close friends who have known and understood me for years. Like people around me who I trust and who went through similar things. I tried to find peace and finally listen to my body. I maintain my daily rituals. Drank my tea in the morning, practiced Skincare Sunday, and listened to my favorite music. The latter was existential. Many underestimate the healing power of music. Music is really my source of energy and my resting place. But there were also days where I just lay in bed the entire day and watched anime.
You quickly get the feeling that you are behaving incorrectly cause you don’t come home from your daily three-hour walk to continue learning Korean and eat your homemade banana bread. Nonsense. You should use the time for yourself and find out what you and your body need. No matter whether it’s productivity, casualness or laziness. Or a mix of everything. An age-old problem of humanity is the manipulation of one’s own consciousness. We let ourselves be influenced by others opinions too quickly and ignore our own feelings.
One of my biggest mistakes is to surround myself with as many people as possible to drown out the feeling of loneliness. Although this is usually exactly the wrong thing. After that I always feel drained and tired. Now I’m trying to create a space where I can spend time with myself.
This year is far from easy. For nobody. Even after all the loosenings. Nevertheless, I seriously believe that’s a year that humanity A large part of life is accepting and feeling our emotions, no matter how sad or exciting they may be. Naiylah M. Warren is a marriage and family therapist who has learned how to teach people how to avoid inhibiting their feelings and understand the benefits of therapy. I’m not saying you have to go into therapy now, but I would like to introduce you to three of her tools that were really helpful in situations I’ve been through.
Take Space – from the constant media stimulation, breaks from protesting and viewing news/twitter feeds. In times like this it is very easy to become over stimulated overwhelmed. Find sources you trust. Plug in when you are ready to engaged, unplug when you are not.
Create/find safety to cry, feel, and process. Much of what we are experiencing right now can be traumatizing. The first step to addressing trauma is creating a safe space to process, either in solitude or in community. Creating a safe space to express your feelings can help to release the heaviness of emotions.
Identify non-negotiable parts of your routine for the purpose of restoration. We may not be able to keep all of our routines, but we can hold on to some. This allows for intentionality in how we carve out time for self-care. Remember, self-care is a responsibility, not a luxury. Don’t forget that everything is a process and that you need time and energy. It’s tough but you can handle it.