About failure and erupting stars
In this candid reflection, I confront the contradiction between my aversion to discussing personal failures and my fascination with others’ missteps. As the embodiment of a caring friend, I offer comfort, inappropriate yet humorous jokes, and a listening ear. However, the advice I dispense, like “grades don’t define you” or “have fun,” doesn’t apply to me. Harsh self-criticism becomes my modus operandi, resembling the despised coach in a Disney movie. With a self-imposed workload and a penchant for busyness, I strive for success but often feel my efforts yield only mediocre results.
Embracing the Pressure:
No external forces compel me to juggle multiple jobs, study two subjects, maintain a social life, and prioritize a semblance of a healthy lifestyle. While aware that this may sound like a plea for attention, I share my cry for help, desiring to break free from the cycle of excessive work and the illusion of success. In a previous piece, I delved into the near-destruction of my mind during a summer characterized by inactivity. Paradoxically, I relish being busy, acknowledging that society’s capitalistic values have influenced my mindset. Work does not define me, yet I derive fulfillment from being in demand. The only predicament lies in witnessing people treat themselves poorly or adopt god-like attitudes.
Navigating the Narcissistic and Self-Deprecating Extremes:
I observe a generation, Gen Z, that seems to have disregarded the middle ground in cultivating a healthy relationship with oneself and acknowledging personal achievements. Some individuals exhibit extreme narcissism, their inflated egos propelling them sky-high, untouchable by the insignificance of others. They believe they will never fall, and in most cases, they don’t. On the other hand, there is a prevalent tendency to embrace extreme self-love, rendering others unable to approach their seemingly impenetrable self-worth. As someone who prides themselves on offering advice, I am compelled to whine and complain, while simultaneously recognizing the importance of self-credit for our accomplishments.
Striving in an Era of Neo-Realism:
In an age where idealism has waned, and the neo-realistic mindset dominates, I must acknowledge that I am no optimist. However, I firmly believe that an inhumane and unkind attitude towards ourselves will hinder our ability to achieve the seemingly unachievable tasks humanity faces in the coming years. Progressing relentlessly in our careers may lead us to realize that the stars once symbolizing our dreams have transformed into black holes, devouring everything in their path. If we lose our dreams, our identities crumble. Yet, this realization offers the opportunity for reinvention, embracing failure, and openly discussing our missteps to inspire others.
In this introspective journey, I explore the paradoxes of my personality, my propensity to offer advice while struggling with my own failures. Recognizing the significance of self-care, finding balance amidst busyness, and challenging societal norms, I aspire to cultivate a kinder and more compassionate mindset towards myself. By openly sharing our failures, seeking advice, and valuing our accomplishments, we can navigate the tumultuous journey of life, especially in the aftermath of a global pandemic. Let us look forward to sharing our own shortcomings, finding solace in the camaraderie of friends, and embracing the challenges that lie ahead.
